An Armload of Stones

I'm standing here holding a pile of stones. At least that's what it feels like. Sometimes it feels as if every time I turn around, or move my vision from one place to another, there it is again — cynical, joyful, distressingly mean-spirited, purposeful destruction of dignity, families, homes, communities, lives.

It's tempting to call this unthinkable, except that would mean I haven't seen, as I have, the tsunami of exclusion, dismissal, and dehumanization that some humans are forced to endure — based only on how they are human, how they express who they are, what they look like, where they come from, how they make sense of the world.

Arguably, at least in these days, it's a purposeful wave, a strategic decision to overwhelm, to leave me and millions of others standing still with an armload of stones, tears running down our faces.

Some of us have to sit down. Rest is certainly everyone's birthright, and from my point of view there's no use in deciding who should sit down and who should not. No one knows what steals resources, energy, and will in any particular life. Most days, I've got enough of all three to rest a bit and keep going, but how do I do that when it feels like my arms are full of stones?

I look around from where I stand, and I put one stone down at a time. Then I take a step, look around again, and set down another stone. Whether or not I'm crying, whether or not I'm enraged, I set down one more stone.

To know which stone to set down, and where, requires awareness of who I am, and how I am, of what's happening in and around me. It requires ongoing clarity of intention, and ever-strengthening commitment.

But where does that clarity and commitment come from? I think the answer to that, in part, lies in earnest curiosity, listening with an expectation that I'll be surprised by what I hear, and with a willingness to change or clarify my intentions in the wake of that surprise.

By way of example, this week I heard an interview with Ben Rhodes, the author of All We Say: A History of the United States in Fifteen Speeches. Rhodes examined hundreds of speeches before he chose the fifteen he included in the book. Toward the end of the interview, he said that his exploration led him to recognize what he called two fundamentally different stories of the United States. One, he said, is a story of "a particular people from a particular place with a particular way of life." (Rhodes attributes that framing to the current US Vice President.)

In that framing, Rhodes said, "other people are welcome to be [here], but they have to kind of subordinate themselves" to that way of life. Rhodes is careful to say, "I'm not saying even that that strain has nothing good in it," and goes on to describe another story of a "country that from its founding has tried and failed to live up to the words in the Declaration of Independence that all men are created equal."

That's a story, Rhodes argues, of a country constantly "trying to expand the rights and privileges of citizenship to more people . . . a story of improvement – [of] constantly seeking to better ourselves."

I appreciate Rhodes for trying to be even-handed in describing these two stories, but people who study systems know there is no such thing as a system that never changes, nor are there any human systems (like a country) with boundaries made of steel; it's objectively impossible to make any human system stay exactly as it is.

I'm grateful I listened carefully to that interview, because it clarified and affirmed my intent, not only as a citizen of the United States, but of the world, and the planet. I choose the ever-changing system. I choose to try and fail and try again to contribute to expanding the rights of humanity to more people every day. I choose never-ending improvement.

I started this piece with an armload of stones, sad and tired and angry. I'm still sad and angry, but I know where to set down those stones — because I've been reminded of my intention and commitment. I’ve been reminded of the path I choose.

 -Lucinda Garthwaite, Executive Director

References

All We Say: A History of the United States in Fifteen Speeches. By Ben Rhodes. 2026

“Former Obama Advisor Reflects on the ‘Battle for American Identity.” Interview with Ben Rhodes. Terry Gross, interviewer. Fresh Air. May 27, 2026.